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Recently, Elizabeth Bernstein wrote a fun little piece in the Wall Street Journal. In it, she cites two interesting statistics from the Shyness Research Institute (SRI) at Indiana University Southeast that can help everyone better battle bashfulness …
- 95% of people say they experience “temporary timidity” from time to time
- the remaining 5% are probably lying!
Per Bernstein: “When I asked people what makes them temporarily shy, almost every straight man I talked to mentioned women. Yet few women said men brought out their shyness. Instead, women said that other women often left them tongue-tied.”
According to Bernardo J. Carducci, Ph.D, and director of the SRI, the biggest causes of situational shyness include strangers, people in Authority, and people we find attractive.
How to Better Battle Bashfulness?!
A business owner that Bernstein spoke with offered this advice: “I had a psychiatrist once who said shy people need great clothes so they can walk into a room and let the clothes do the talking at first.”
Other tips from Carducci and the Institute — and the WSJ:
- Prepare. Hate meeting new people at business events? Practice talking to people in line at Starbucks. Someone makes you shy? Think of what to say before you run into her again.
- Make party rules. Force yourself to stand in the middle of the room, approach a boisterous group or introduce yourself to everyone in blue.
- Make statements — don’t ask questions. It may seem a polite way to draw others out, but it makes them do the work.
- Don’t beat yourself up if you’re uncomfortable or if conversation doesn’t flow. Chances are others are feeling shy, and will be too focused on themselves to notice any gaffe you think you’ve made.
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